Halloween has hit a wall. In my humble beginnings, this night was nothing but ninjas, silly string, horror movies and candy. You know, the best shit on earth. Then, post penis realization, it centered on school mixers, freak dancing and getting Dad to drive me to the hot girls after party. One, two, skip a few and boom, college happened. Since then Halloween has been nothing but slutty babes and debilitating hangovers. Until this year that is. This year, I went as a banana, had zero fun and called it quits on the drinking in order to shovel candy into my mouth. Here’s some photos from the horrible time I had.
Rode in a cab with Goose, Maverick or whoever.
Went into diabetic shock some point following my ten hundredth Sour Skittle.
This guy was there.
Check the spider hiding in the ‘dreads. Gross.
No clue who this is.
Smokey the Bear, everybody.
The golden girls? I dunno, but I bet they broke out the next day.
I started running this week. Why? Because I’m getting fat and gross.
Babes. Skulls. Bras.
Hopefully next year will be better.
Found these gems on my desktop. One is of my girlfriends floating head. It’s looking good, click the photo for proof. Below are some legs to lose yourself in. Why? Because the combination of Tiger heads, space and lady legs are better than Cialis.
I found the recent chemical weapons fiasco in Syria to be rather odd. Sure, its terrible what happened, but chemicals are slipped silently into everything we touch, eat and buy these days. Organic isn’t organic. Water is mixed with fluoride. So on and so forth. That’s why I took this photo. On one hand, a beautiful rock bluff, the beacon of the American West. On the other though, a blurry, hard to read shipping container–straight from China. I can only imagine what poisonous shrimp cocktail or lead based Bieber doll is waiting for us in those toxic green crates.
With a thousand miles and many fond memories behind me I dumped my bag. Hotel rooms are good for that. Kicking my feet up I thought back on the incredible journey I had just experienced. A dude trip, of the best sort, through countless unbelievable landscapes many will only ever Google search, and it had all been in the name of work. A fact I cherish and love about my current situation. But, then I looked down. Seeing this odd collection of garbage I’d picked up along the way made me realize why some, just possibly, might see me in a less than flattering light. However, I regret nothing.
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